For updates as they come, like my Facebook page,
"Your Car Makes You Look Stupid" HERE
www.facebook.com/yourcarmakesyoulookstupid HERE
I post new blog posts, near misses and ask for advice on what plates mean.
Do you really want to miss such upcoming gems as...
HMMWWJD
DIGNGOLD
... which were both seen over the weekend!?
Monday, May 19, 2014
YOLOXXX
What with everything being on fire and the worst week of work ever, I failed you dear readers. I missed an entire week. To make up for it, I am busting out my big guns.
I've been holding onto this one for some time.
Why yes. That DOES say YOLOXXX on a Lexus.
You only live once, so you should probably do some porn.
Idiots.
Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.
And whorey.
I've been holding onto this one for some time.
Why yes. That DOES say YOLOXXX on a Lexus.
You only live once, so you should probably do some porn.
Idiots.
Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.
And whorey.
Friday, May 9, 2014
LOW DNA
I stopped this morning to get gas at the 76 station. The line is always super long, no matter what time I try to go, probably because gas there is $3.81 per gallon when gas right around the corner is $4.25.
By the way, gas is expensive in California. It's so expensive that when you visit the EIA website that tracks fuel prices, California is the exception.
Seriously. It's separated out. In the category for West Coast it goes like this:
West Coast
West Coast less California
California
Yup, California skews the average so much that it has to be factored out. Southern California is even worse.
It's super awesome driving in California.
Especially when I go to the gas station and I get to see this:
LOW DNA?
Doesn't that just literally mean stupid?
Oh.... no.....
Seriously...
Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.
Your car CONFIRMS you are stupid.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
CARMA
My brother sent me this photo, the following text conversation occurred. It pretty much captures everything I would ever need to say about this.
Note: I am C, Warren is W.
W: Driver is a long grey haired want to be hippie male socks and sandals Birkenstocks! And his yuppie wife
C: Sweet lord. This is good.
W: I turned around! And drove back 3 blocks to get the pic
C: I appreciate it
W: And thankfully I saw the stupid driver get out of his stupid BMW
C: Yes!
W: Are you fucking kidding me?!
W: Carma spelled wrong on a BMW?
C: Yes, but he's trying to make a pun
C: CARma
C: Stupid
C: Not clever
W: I know!
W: Do you think he tried karma first? And then when it was taken he thought he would try and be cool and a dick and use carma and say it was a pun?
C: No, I think he is a douche who just picked CARMA
W: Hahaha
W: He looked like the type who would do that
W: It is hard for me to believe he could be such an a hole
C: It's hard to believe any of them could.
[end of conversation]
I don't think I need to say anything else.
If you don't want to be a part of these types of conversations discussing whether you are stupid or an a-hole, it is 100% avoidable.
Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.
Note: I am C, Warren is W.
W: Driver is a long grey haired want to be hippie male socks and sandals Birkenstocks! And his yuppie wife
C: Sweet lord. This is good.
W: I turned around! And drove back 3 blocks to get the pic
C: I appreciate it
W: And thankfully I saw the stupid driver get out of his stupid BMW
C: Yes!
W: Are you fucking kidding me?!
W: Carma spelled wrong on a BMW?
C: Yes, but he's trying to make a pun
C: CARma
C: Stupid
C: Not clever
W: I know!
W: Do you think he tried karma first? And then when it was taken he thought he would try and be cool and a dick and use carma and say it was a pun?
C: No, I think he is a douche who just picked CARMA
W: Hahaha
W: He looked like the type who would do that
W: It is hard for me to believe he could be such an a hole
C: It's hard to believe any of them could.
[end of conversation]
I don't think I need to say anything else.
If you don't want to be a part of these types of conversations discussing whether you are stupid or an a-hole, it is 100% avoidable.
Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.
Monday, May 5, 2014
CRATEUP
This is one of the many plates Kourtney and I saw on our way to Coachella a couple weeks ago. It is a little tough to read the plate, but it says "CRATEUP" and it appears to have a Great Dane sticker on the back.
Yeah. Ok. Let me just stop my car here and put my huge dog in a crate.
I am not against crating your dog, it's a great training technique and many dogs find comfort in having a space that is "their own". But... why is it necessary to tell me to do it with your car? Number 1, I don't even have a dog. Number 2, what good is me seeing it on your license plate going to do even if I did have one. Does the driver think that I am going to go home and google crating and decide it's the life for me based on a chance traffic encounter.
Note to Readers: Often times I DO google the plates I see before I post, or I check urbandictionary.com in case there are some meanings I am unhip to. But I think I am in the minority, I mean, how many other people have blogs based solely on encounters with weird vanity plates? I mean, only like 40-60% of people, right?
I did not google this particular plate. There is no hidden meaning, you can tell by the giant canine on the left. It's literally telling me to crate my dog.
TO WHAT END?!
If this was a business vehicle (meaning with a name, phone number, etc stuck to it somewhere) I would have no problem, but it wasn't. It was an everyday car. Maybe the driver is a crate salesman, but telling me to crate my dog without providing me with your specific information is just bad business sense.
It makes no sense, if you really think about it.
Please let your dogs out.
Knock if off, your car makes you look stupid.
Yeah. Ok. Let me just stop my car here and put my huge dog in a crate.
I am not against crating your dog, it's a great training technique and many dogs find comfort in having a space that is "their own". But... why is it necessary to tell me to do it with your car? Number 1, I don't even have a dog. Number 2, what good is me seeing it on your license plate going to do even if I did have one. Does the driver think that I am going to go home and google crating and decide it's the life for me based on a chance traffic encounter.
Note to Readers: Often times I DO google the plates I see before I post, or I check urbandictionary.com in case there are some meanings I am unhip to. But I think I am in the minority, I mean, how many other people have blogs based solely on encounters with weird vanity plates? I mean, only like 40-60% of people, right?
I did not google this particular plate. There is no hidden meaning, you can tell by the giant canine on the left. It's literally telling me to crate my dog.
TO WHAT END?!
If this was a business vehicle (meaning with a name, phone number, etc stuck to it somewhere) I would have no problem, but it wasn't. It was an everyday car. Maybe the driver is a crate salesman, but telling me to crate my dog without providing me with your specific information is just bad business sense.
It makes no sense, if you really think about it.
Please let your dogs out.
Knock if off, your car makes you look stupid.
Friday, May 2, 2014
D-ABLA
DIABLA must have already been taken.
This Devil Woman is super clever, as you can see.
And really? You want everyone to see your license plate and know that you identify yourself as a Devil Woman? That's like putting "hey, guys I'm a bitch" on your license plate frame. It's one thing to BE a Devil Woman. I can think of one woman in particular who I call (and who IS) synonyms of a diabla. Do I think that she identifies herself as such? No. It would make her a WORSE PERSON if she did.
I have a friend who thinks she is a bitch. She is a bitch. I love her anyway because her bitchiness does not come from a bad place. She is also self conscious about being a bitch, she would NOT plaster it all over her car. That is because she is also a normal, caring, non-Devil Woman.
Don't get cute with words that mean you're awful. That just means you are awful. Or, at the very least, it makes us all believe you are awful.
Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.
DH WIFE
My brother sent me this photo at 5:26 AM this morning (not entirely his fault, he is in Eastern Standard Time) with the accompanying text.
"Driver: black woman, my guess is Daryl Hughley's Wife"
I racked my sleep addled brain for a few minutes trying to figure out who Daryl Hughley was and why I didn't know, until I just decided to go back to sleep and "deal with this later".
I woke up at a perfectly respectable time a couple hours later and looked again.
Me: "Oh! Do you mean DL Hughley?"
Warren: "Yes I do"
Warren: "First name Daryl :)"
I giggled to myself, and thought he was an idiot. But soon after I became obsessed and had to google what DL Hughley's real name was. Can you guess?
That's right. It's Darryl.
You could tell me that Warren knew this and that I was the idiot for laughing at him, but he most certainly did NOT know that. I guarantee it, it's just a bizarre fun coincidence, I am sure that Warren could not pick DL Hughley out of a lineup of black comedians.
That is not racist by the way, he also could probably not pick Mike Birbiglia out of a lineup of white comedians either. Which is also not racist.
Sidenote: Let's all stop saying that everything is racist. Cause it's not.
ANYWAY, now that I had ruled out the possibilities of Mr. Hughley's wife driving this car, I started thinking about all of the possibilities that DH WIFE could be.
Of course, I SUPPOSE it could be her name. BO-RING!
In olden days DH meant "dear husband". It could also mean "departed husband". It's most likely dear husband. Meaning she apparently is the wife of a dear man. One who doesn't mind that his wife has grammar problems.
What I think of, and the far more entertaining option is that is stands for "desperate house". As in she is a Desperate House Wife". Grammatically it's better, at the very least.
No matter what it stands for, no one knows what it means except for Mrs. Hughley.
Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.
"Driver: black woman, my guess is Daryl Hughley's Wife"
I racked my sleep addled brain for a few minutes trying to figure out who Daryl Hughley was and why I didn't know, until I just decided to go back to sleep and "deal with this later".
I woke up at a perfectly respectable time a couple hours later and looked again.
Me: "Oh! Do you mean DL Hughley?"
Warren: "Yes I do"
Warren: "First name Daryl :)"
I giggled to myself, and thought he was an idiot. But soon after I became obsessed and had to google what DL Hughley's real name was. Can you guess?
That's right. It's Darryl.
You could tell me that Warren knew this and that I was the idiot for laughing at him, but he most certainly did NOT know that. I guarantee it, it's just a bizarre fun coincidence, I am sure that Warren could not pick DL Hughley out of a lineup of black comedians.
That is not racist by the way, he also could probably not pick Mike Birbiglia out of a lineup of white comedians either. Which is also not racist.
Sidenote: Let's all stop saying that everything is racist. Cause it's not.
ANYWAY, now that I had ruled out the possibilities of Mr. Hughley's wife driving this car, I started thinking about all of the possibilities that DH WIFE could be.
Of course, I SUPPOSE it could be her name. BO-RING!
In olden days DH meant "dear husband". It could also mean "departed husband". It's most likely dear husband. Meaning she apparently is the wife of a dear man. One who doesn't mind that his wife has grammar problems.
What I think of, and the far more entertaining option is that is stands for "desperate house". As in she is a Desperate House Wife". Grammatically it's better, at the very least.
No matter what it stands for, no one knows what it means except for Mrs. Hughley.
Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.
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