People Named Kat Must Be Stopped

Not photo'd below is the purple Saturn with the SAT4CAT plate, that I have seen 3 times now, yet could not safely snap a photo.

Spotted in downtown San Diego, I THINK it says "Lucky Cat 5"

KIT CAT - Sent by Bill B.

KATRAT - Sent by Eric T.

MISKITY - Sent by Teasha G.

I've had enough you, Kat.  Enough.

Knock it off, your cars make you look stupid.



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PS IMDON

Is he Don?  Or is he done?

I don't know why, perhaps it is because I am so used to seeing all the douchey misspellings, but I first interpreted this one as him being done.  As in, maybe this was his retirement vehicle.

On second thought, I don't think so.  I think his name is Don.

This falls  under the "WHO CARES?!" category.  Who cares?  All I know is that Don over here took beautiful classic Porsche and made it stupid.

PS - Sorry Don, I'm done.

Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.


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INDACLB

What in the hell is this Mini Cooper doing?

Going to Da Club?

Unless 50 Cent is driving this car (and I am 100% sure he does NOT drive a Mini Cooper) this is just unacceptable.

In fact, it would be unacceptable even if Fiddy was driving this car.  In Da Club came out 12 years ago.

No.

No, no, no, no, NO!

Just stop.

Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid!

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#TheDoose

In honor Memorial Day I would like to celebrate by sharing a stupid car done right.

Yes, it’s “stupid”, but it is also clever, funny, fun, and AWESOME.

Please meet The Doose.

The most American car I have seen.

The Doose is, for lack of a better term, a "community car".  A couple of friends of mine went together and purchased this road warrior and started making alterations.  The Doose is spectacular.  It is a wood panel station wagon with the top cut off.  Yes, just cut right off.  With a Sawzall. 

Sawzalls literally saw all.   

The Doose is good for any occassion, weather not a factor

If you are on Instagram, you can look up the hashtag #thedoose and you will be able to find several videos of The Doose in action. 

The Doose is brilliant.  

The Doose is an example of a vanity plate done well.  It’s a weird, bizarre car, it REQUIRES a weird plate.  If you haven’t noticed yet, the plate says JUMPIN, which is supposed to mean Jump In (as opposed to Jumpin’), since the logistics of The Doose would allow such an activity to take place.  You could absolutely chase after this car and leap in.  

I know them.  If you are cool in any way (which, let's face it, if you're reading this blog, you must be), they would be ok with it.

So you happen to be in the Indianapolis area and see this one car parade rolling down the road, give them a smile.  Tell them you saw them here and they will probably give you a hug.  Tell them Cheyenna sent you.

The magnitude and majestic beauty of this land yacht gone right deserves all the accolades in the world.  Good on you boys!

Congratulation, your car does NOT make you look stupid.

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PINKSTA

I am a touch OCD, and very visual.  I can design an award winning PowerPoint presentation, decorate a room like nobody's business, and judge people's cars.

I cannot, ever, drive a car that clashes with my license plate.

I know that seems strange, but I just could never do it.

Utah for example has a license plate that is blue and orange, but the worst offender is Idaho.

Idaho is a dark bloody red sky with blue mountains.  It's the worst.  Luckily, most vehicles are a color where the plate doesn't matter.  White, black, blue, green, but this... this is horrific.

Not only, is this car painted aggressively pink, but the clashing vanity plate is attacking my corneas.

If your car is so important to you that not only would you have a custom plate made, but you would have it custom painted, you should consider the license plate as part of the car.

Perhaps go for a more subtle color.

Perhaps not be stupid.

This is clearly asking a lot.

Let's forget about the color of the license plate for a moment.  Even if I find that the most offensive, I know I am in the minority.  Let's just focus on the overall stupidness of this car.

1) it is the color of Pepto Bismol, which is fitting because it is making me sick.
2) it has naked ladies as the license plate frame
3) PINKSTA

PINKSTA?  What does that mean?  Does that mean Pink Gangta?  Pinksta is not defined by Urban Dictionary.  When I google Pinksta just a bunch of nonsense comes up.

Is this just the name of the car? Am I to assume this is someone's nickname that they then transformed their car into?  Or is it the other way around?  Did they make this douchemobile and then acquire the nickname?

When I was in college I knew a basketball player who everyone called The Wedge.  I found out later it was actually spelled WEJ, because it was based on the license plate of his orange lowrider truck.  Not because he had a vanity plate, that just happened to be the 3 letters assigned to him and someone started calling him and his truck The WEJ.

This is clearly not that since no random alphanumeric system would be able to happen to throw PINKSTA together no matter how many times you pressed retry.

Whichever way you slice it, this is a stupid car.

Putting this much effort, time, and money into customizing an Idahoan Celica is overall just a bad idea.

Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.

SBWINNR

Last month I posted about RAIDRR, a stupid car driven by an idiot member of the Raider Nation.  As a die hard Seahawks fan, I was challenged to find a Seahawks license plate stupid as well.

I'm not gonna lie, I questioned whether or not it could be done.  I wondered if my love for my own team would trump my hatred of stupid license plates.

The answer?

No.  It does not.

This license plate is stupid.  And I hate it.  No matter how much I relate to the team pride, I do not relate to this.

Part of the fun of this blog is that people are sharing it (please, keep sharing it) so friends and family of mine are getting photos to pass along to me.  Thank you.  Keep it up.  Another option is to post photos to my facebook page, Your Car Makes You Look Stupid.  I have plenty I've gotten from friends I'm just waiting to write about.  This is one of those photos.

A former co-worker of my brother sent this photo from Redmond, WA.

As you can see, there is a Seahawk logo incorporated into the plate.  That, I do not have a problem with, if you have a team, go ahead and support your team, just don't try to be cute with the plate number.

Yes.  My beloved Seahawks dominated the Superbowl.  Yes, they are a team that everyone doubted and gets shit on all the time.  Yes, we 12s are very, VERY proud of our team.  That said, you look like an idiot.

Accompanying this photo sent to my brother was this:

" Look at this douche.  I seriously doubt that anyone driving a Honda Accord has anything to do with the Seahawks winning the Super Bowl this year!"

Wise words, sir, wise words.

So, to wrap it up, love your team, just don't be stupid.  Thank you.

Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.

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I post new blog posts, near misses and ask for advice on what plates mean.

Do you really want to miss such upcoming gems as...

HMMWWJD
DIGNGOLD

... which were both seen over the weekend!?

YOLOXXX

What with everything being on fire and the worst week of work ever, I failed you dear readers.  I missed an entire week.  To make up for it, I am busting out my big guns.

I've been holding onto this one for some time.

Why yes.  That DOES say YOLOXXX on a Lexus.

You only live once, so you should probably do some porn.

Idiots.

Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.

And whorey.

LOW DNA

I stopped this morning to get gas at the 76 station.  The line is always super long, no matter what time I try to go, probably because gas there is $3.81 per gallon when gas right around the corner is $4.25.

By the way, gas is expensive in California.  It's so expensive that when you visit the EIA website that tracks fuel prices, California is the exception.

Seriously.  It's separated out.  In the category for West Coast it goes like this:

West Coast

      West Coast less California

      California

Yup, California skews the average so much that it has to be factored out.  Southern California is even worse.

It's super awesome driving in California.

Especially when I go to the gas station and I get to see this:

LOW DNA?

Doesn't that just literally mean stupid?

Oh.... no.....

Seriously...

Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.

Your car CONFIRMS you are stupid.

CARMA

My brother sent me this photo, the following text conversation occurred.  It pretty much captures everything I would ever need to say about this.

        Note: I am C, Warren is W.

W: Driver is a long grey haired want to be hippie male socks and sandals Birkenstocks! And his yuppie wife

C: Sweet lord.  This is good.

W: I turned around!  And drove back 3 blocks to get the pic

C: I appreciate it

W: And thankfully I saw the stupid driver get out of his stupid BMW

C: Yes!

W: Are you fucking kidding me?!
W: Carma spelled wrong on a BMW?

C: Yes, but he's trying to make a pun
C: CARma
C: Stupid
C: Not clever

W: I know!
W: Do you think he tried karma first? And then when it was taken he thought he would try and be cool and a dick and use carma and say it was a pun?

C: No, I think he is a douche who just picked CARMA

W: Hahaha
W: He looked like the type who would do that
W: It is hard for me to believe he could be such an a hole

C: It's hard to believe any of them could.

[end of conversation]

I don't think I need to say anything else.

If you don't want to be a part of these types of conversations discussing whether you are stupid or an a-hole, it is 100% avoidable.

Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.

CRATEUP

This is one of the many plates Kourtney and I saw on our way to Coachella a couple weeks ago.  It is a little tough to read the plate, but it says "CRATEUP" and it appears to have a Great Dane sticker on the back.

Yeah.  Ok. Let me just stop my car here and put my huge dog in a crate.

I am not against crating your dog, it's a great training technique and many dogs find comfort in having a space that is "their own".  But... why is it necessary to tell me to do it with your car?  Number 1, I don't even have a dog.  Number 2, what good is me seeing it on your license plate going to do even if I did have one.  Does the driver think that I am going to go home and google crating and decide it's the life for me based on a chance traffic encounter.

Note to Readers: Often times I DO google the plates I see before I post, or I check urbandictionary.com in case there are some meanings I am unhip to.  But I think I am in the minority, I mean, how many other people have blogs based solely on encounters with weird vanity plates?  I mean, only like 40-60% of people, right?

I did not google this particular plate.  There is no hidden meaning, you can tell by the giant canine on the left.  It's literally telling me to crate my dog.

TO WHAT END?!

If this was a business vehicle (meaning with a name, phone number, etc stuck to it somewhere) I would have no problem, but it wasn't.  It was an everyday car.  Maybe the driver is a crate salesman, but telling me to crate my dog without providing me with your specific information is just bad business sense.

It makes no sense, if you really think about it.

Please let your dogs out.

Knock if off, your car makes you look stupid.

D-ABLA

DIABLA must have already been taken.

This Devil Woman is super clever, as you can see.

And really?  You want everyone to see your license plate and know that you identify yourself as a Devil Woman?  That's like putting "hey, guys I'm a bitch" on your license plate frame.  It's one thing to BE a Devil Woman.  I can think of one woman in particular who I call (and who IS) synonyms of a diabla.  Do I think that she identifies herself as such?  No.  It would make her a WORSE PERSON if she did.

I have a friend who thinks she is a bitch.  She is a bitch.  I love her anyway because her bitchiness does not come from a bad place.  She is also self conscious about being a bitch, she would NOT plaster it all over her car.  That is because she is also a normal, caring, non-Devil Woman.

Don't get cute with words that mean you're awful.  That just means you are awful.  Or, at the very least, it makes us all believe you are awful.

Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.

DH WIFE

My brother sent me this photo at 5:26 AM this morning (not entirely his fault, he is in Eastern Standard Time) with the accompanying text.

     "Driver: black woman, my guess is Daryl Hughley's Wife"

I racked my sleep addled brain for a few minutes trying to figure out who Daryl Hughley was and why I didn't know, until I just decided to go back to sleep and "deal with this later".

I woke up at a perfectly respectable time a couple hours later and looked again.

     Me: "Oh! Do you mean DL Hughley?"
     Warren: "Yes I do"
     Warren: "First name Daryl :)"

I giggled to myself, and thought he was an idiot.  But soon after I became obsessed and had to google what DL Hughley's real name was.  Can you guess?

That's right.  It's Darryl.

You could tell me that Warren knew this and that I was the idiot for laughing at him, but he most certainly did NOT know that.  I guarantee it, it's just a bizarre fun coincidence, I am sure that Warren could not pick DL Hughley out of a lineup of black comedians.

That is not racist by the way, he also could probably not pick Mike Birbiglia out of a lineup of white comedians either.  Which is also not racist.

Sidenote: Let's all stop saying that everything is racist.  Cause it's not.

ANYWAY, now that I had ruled out the possibilities of Mr. Hughley's wife driving this car, I started thinking about all of the possibilities that DH WIFE could be.

Of course, I SUPPOSE it could be her name.  BO-RING!

In olden days DH meant "dear husband".  It could also mean "departed husband".  It's most likely dear husband.  Meaning she apparently is the wife of a dear man.  One who doesn't mind that his wife has grammar problems.

What I think of, and the far more entertaining option is that is stands for "desperate house".  As in she is a Desperate House Wife".  Grammatically it's better, at the very least.

No matter what it stands for, no one knows what it means except for Mrs. Hughley.

Knock it off, your car makes you look stupid.